Jeremiah, chapter three is an interesting passage and has been an encouraging reminder that when the circumstances of our lives are at their darkest - God's sunrise is just a moment of darkness away. Jeremiah, who is known as the weeping prophet, was deeply grieved by the afflictions of God's people, but was soon reminded to find hope in God. ('The faithful love of the Lord never ends, his mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness, his mercies are new every morning. Jeremiah 3:22-23) Calvin then and now only myself are the living proof of that verse. Often when Christians pray for someone who is in the throws of affliction, sickness and disease, they want to see the person back to what they believe is normal, but God never allows us to back up. When we ask God to restore a person to what he was in times past, we are always praying amiss because such a request leaves no room for the miraculous. I believe this could be the very reason why the Lord's prayer - says "Thy will be done." That prayer leaves the door of possibilities wide open.
Before Calvin passed away, many of the contacts with my friends and family begin with this: "How's Calvin today?" My faith saw him whole and healed, but to say that to someone when in reality he was not might have seemed, to some, like denial. However, if I chose to see Calvin healthy I was, after all, agreeing with the Word. Let me explain. Years ago, after a routine chest x-ray my doctor ordered a cat scan of my chest, but did not fully explain why. Days went by with no report on the findings and as a result I spent many days fearing the worse (cancer). As each day passed my fears became greater than my faith, and I even found myself planning how my family might go on without me. Then one morning, God gently reprimanded me. "Joney! What is wrong with you? Why are you so fearful? Listen, if you die you will be with me and if you live you will be with me! Either way you are healed." Having received that reassurance in God's sovereignty, I found courage to call the doctor. No cancer!! In fact he had never suspected cancer! He suspected tuberculosis, found nothing and gave a good report. However, for my readers, some questions may remain. Did I have some sort of illness in my lungs and God healed me? Not sure! Was I well all the time and suffered through a false alarm? Maybe! Nevertheless, the trial was intended to test my faith. It did, indeed do that and more! Building on that and hundreds of other encounters I began, very timidly, to notice a flame of trust building in my unbelieving heart. That, my friends, is God's foundational motivation to every trial. You and I were created/born for one reason - a relationship with our Creator. Unbelief kills that relationship; but belief can kindle a burning fire. Andrew Murray in his book The Holiest of All speaking of unbelief says this: "Unbelief closes the heart against God, withdraws the life from God's power; in the very nature of things, unbelief renders the word of promise to no effect."
So fast forward to the last weeks, days and hours of Calvin's life. There we were, again, in need of faith and trust in God's plan! Because I had learned about and experienced an encounter with the Holy One, I was standing firm on a foundation of solid belief. I was once again walking through a blind alley, but of even greater length and intensity. As I felt my way through the pits and perils of those days I was not just believing for myself, but for my sweet Calvin as well. "Yes, though we walked through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, we feared or dreaded no evil, for He was with us; His rod [to protect] and His staff [to guide], they comforted us. He prepared a table before us in the presence of Calvin's impending death. He anointed our head's with oil; our [brimming] cup ran over. Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love did follow both of us in those dark days, and through the length of our days we will dwell in the house of the Lord [and His presence] will be our dwelling place. (Mine here in this temporary place and Calvin's in his eternal home).
To close this segment of my blog I want to share the words of a song that sustained me every day of those last two months. I had the CD in the car's CD player so that when I started the car it would automatically come on. Whether coincidence or God incidence I do not know, but either way it soothed my fears and caused me to count those days as joy.
Step, was written by Rebecca Peck, and sung by Lalania Vaughn- Lord, I'm glad you didn't let me look ahead/To see the trials I would have to face/ I would have lived my life caught up in fear and dread/and missed a lot of joy along the way/On this journey I have had my share of tears/ Lonely days when it was hard to understand, but you'd whisper to me gently, "Child, I'm here," And I knew that you were holding to my hand.
Chorus: Every step that I have taken/Every valley I've walked through; I have seen that your grace cannot be shaken; Every step brought me closer, Lord, to You/ Every step brought me closer, Lord, to you.
I have known a peace that I cannot explain/When everything around me fell apart/For your promises brought hope within my pain/. That you would heal the wounds inside my heart/When my feet could not go on another mile/For the road had left me tired and O so weak/I would hear you whisper "Child, come rest awhile"/Then you'd hold me close and weep along with me.
Chorus: Every step that I have taken/Every valley I've walked through; I have seen that your grace cannot be shaken; Every step brought me closer, Lord, to You/ Every step brought me closer, Lord, to you.
Enough for now! I have so much more to tell; so many more praises and miracles to share. I am tempted to tell you: tune in tomorrow; same time; same station. :-)
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